A Sudden Longing

All of a sudden I am homesick and longing for my home, family, pets, and to be near those who love me. It came over me like a curtain falling on a darkened stage yesterday, October 17. I will not be coming home early as I would have to spend a large amount for a ticket and I could not ask Maria for a refund as I know she depends on this income, so I will just use this time to work on my continued growth. I always felt that I would know when it was time to return home and I feel that time is nearing. I had such a nice talk with my boys and Tim last Sunday evening. The boys are growing and changing so quickly, and while this break was good for us all, I miss being a part of their lives.

I had a bout of the flu earlier in the week, mild, but unpleasant. It struck without warning as I walked in the park and I was glad to be near the public restroom. Maria was a dear and made me chamomile tea in a blue mug to settle my stomach and later brought up vegetable soup, blended smooth so as not to upset my tummy. Such kindness.

Yesterday I received a box of paperback books, generously sent by my mother. It felt like a celebration as I cut open the brown package and toss bits of crumpled newspaper to the side to uncover the surprises concealed within. A little bit of home all wrapped up in love to let me know I have not been forgotten.

It’s Saturday, market day, and my favorite porchetta man built me a huge, yummy sandwich which I am eating as I write this. I am beginning to understand a bit more of the language, but not so much that I really understand a conversation. I am beginning to differentiate people’s names from other words in a conversation and its makes me feel more a part of things when I know the names of those I see on a daily basis.

The lady at the internet site recognized me and shook my hand when I first saw her on my return. She is back to charging me for internet usage only every other day or so, rather than every day like she charges most people. While at the internet point today, three rather scantily-clad and generously proportioned American women walked in yelling, “Do you speak English? Do you speak Russian?” and laughing loudly. The one proceeded to stare down my cleavage so much that I nearly said something to her. All three spoke and laughed in raucous voices, horribly mispronouncing words in their feeble attempt to say “grazie”, and seemed to relish the attention they attracted. Just the kind of American tourist I strive NOT to be, but perhaps I am becoming a snob.

I had dinner with Perry and Michael earlier in the week at Perry’s house and, like true gentleman, they walked me home afterwards. I gave them the “grand tour” and chuckled about the excitement they showed over my automatic dishwasher. I hadn’t the heart to tell them that I never use it! Perry’s little ground-floor apartment is interesting. It’s located on a steep hill and the interior walls are brick. The kitchen still contains the manger with iron rings on the wall above where the animals were tethered during the room’s former use as a barn. In a deep nook in the living room, behind a window and hinged iron bars, is an acnient well still containing water. Perry days that rain water drains down the inside of the walls of the abode and into the well. He figures if he installs a pool ladder for access and finds a way to heat and agitate the water he’ll have a great party hot tub!

It is my birthday next Saturday. The big 4-6, and Maria and I plan to celebrate together. Perhaps we’ll share a drink at a bar or here at home. It will be nice to share my day with someone, but of course, my thoughts will be home.